As I sit in my bed, looking at colleges on my laptop, I think back to my freshman and sophomore years. Younger me did not think I would make it to this point, friends, younger me was an anxious mess.

I have struggled with anxiety for many years now. A year or two ago, the thought of college made me physically ill. One of the manifestations of my anxiety was vomiting before high-stress events. I only just have begun to feel confident enough to eat before big events without the fear of hurling it back up. My intense fear of how people see me has only just begun to die down. Thankfully, I have wonderful friends who love me, a best friend who knows me, and a God who will always be there.

All this to say, I have come so far since then. I claim no credit for this, friends, for it is completely God. He has given me peace in the midst of troubled times. One of my favorite songs, Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns, sums it up pretty well for me:

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

So in the middle of the craziest season of my life, days full of applying to colleges, applying for scholarships, keeping up friendships, fulfilling youth group student leadership duties, staying up on my devotions, trying to figure out how to pay for college, and finishing my normal school work,  I feel the calmest that I ever have. I may be in a high-stress time, but God’s got me.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

~Hannah Knodel